Red flags are when the the narcissist victims in your family start saying bad things about people they have known all their lives, family friends I've known from childhood.

Alarm bells started ringing, my loved ones are losing their own identity, they will say anything to enable and protect their controllers, they become just as poisoned.

They gossip about their friends and the people around them in ways that is so out of character, alarm bells should start to ring. At the time it was happening I just blocked it out I suppose, it's hard to believe people can change like that.

Victims turn into vindictive people too. They lose all their integrity.

Another wonderful day in paradise here in VN, the people are amazing and honest, the sun is warm and the sea is 84f. Fresh cooked lunch out today cost 90 pence.